On Love: The wedding of Chris Dudley and Shristhi Puri

Gallery: On Love: Chris Dudley’s initial impression of Shristhi Puri was a strong one: “I hated her,” he says. “I was not very fond of her at all.” But that all changed after they spent much more time together.

Chris Dudley’s initial impression of Shristhi Puri was a strong one: “I hated her,” he says. “I was not very fond of her at all.”

Puri had started volunteering at the Bethesda-Chevy Chase Rescue Squad in September 2007. During her first months there it seemed to Dudley that all she did was complain.
And she, in turn, thought Dudley was “an arrogant person” who only thought of himself.
Puri, who moved to the United States from Nepal at 13, was eager to become a full-fledged member of the squad, but she found the training much more rigorous than what she had encountered when she’d served as an emergency medical technician while attending Washington College in Chestertown.
Dudley had similar struggles when he first joined the squad in 2001. A native of Windsor, England, he came to the United States to pursue a singing career and quickly landed a coveted spot in the National Cathedral Choir. Looking to fill his free time with volunteer work, he walked into the BCC Rescue Squad after seeing a sign promoting it as “the opportunity of a lifetime.”
But while most new members move through a training process within 14 months, Dudley’s singing schedule precluded him from finishing on time. Worried he’d be kicked off the squad, he decided to prove his dedication during the squad’s annual fall drive. He raised $22,000 — enough to be named the unit’s top fundraiser.
After quizzing Puri, who works at a bank on weekdays, Dudley asked a superior to give him time to properly train her. From then on, he became her hard-driving mentor, constantly drilling her on squad protocols and medical response procedures.
“I was like, ‘I hate this guy because he always makes me cry every single time I take a test,’ ” recalls Puri, now 26. “But, at the same time, he was helping me get through everything.”
They began a tradition of going to breakfast on Tuesdays with a few other young volunteers after finishing an overnight shift. In time, she grew accustomed to his teasing and admired the care he took with patients; he respected her persistence and soon found a sunny disposition at her core.
“She’s the person that you want to be near all the time,” he says. “Just because of her positive attitude.”
In the fall of 2008, with Dudley’s encouragement, Puri became the squad’s top fundraiser. That November, he invited her to join a group of friends at his home for Thanksgiving dinner. She helped him with the preparations and drank enough that she didn’t feel comfortable driving home. After the other guests had left, he kissed her.
She stayed the night, but woke up baffled about the kiss. They’d only recently warmed to each other as friends. That day, Dudley told Puri it shouldn’t have happened. Her parents expected her to marry a Nepali man; he had always believed he shouldn’t date a South Asian woman.
“It’s this thing that was bred into me at English boarding school,” says Dudley, now 31. “It goes back to this colonial stuff.”
They decided to try to forget that the kiss happened and went back to being friends and colleagues.
For months, Puri rode only in Dudley’s ambulance, but when she passed her final tests in January 2009, she was free to work wherever she was needed. “So then I hardly saw him and I’m like, ‘I kinda miss this guy. It’s kind of boring without him around,’ ” she says. “It wasn’t fun anymore to me.”
By then, they were regularly meeting up to have lunch or play squash. The pair bickered like an old married couple and were teased by rescue squad colleagues about being romantically involved. When Puri vented to friends about Dudley, they begged her to own up to the fact that she had feelings for him and to tell him as much. She routinely scoffed at the idea.
Still, in the summer of 2009, when Dudley told Puri he’d begun seeing another woman, she grew resentful. “He made me feel like we were together, and now we’re not,” she told friends. She remembers their response: “Shristhi, it’s been two years that you’ve been playing footsie with each other and never said anything, so you don’t have any space to complain. You did it to yourself.”
She became his reluctant relationship counselor, helping him work through problems with his girlfriend. And there were plenty of those, Dudley says. “We’d only been dating six months, and we already had these edges going up,” he says. But with Puri, he says, “we’d always be hanging out and having fun. And I had to really try hard with this other person.”
In late August, just after Dudley had told his girlfriend it wasn’t going to work out, Puri asked him to meet her for coffee. She couldn’t handle the ambiguity of their relationship any longer.
“There’s no easy way to say this,” she told him. “I’ve loved you for a while.”
Dudley responded that he had feelings for her, too, but needed time. Puri said she didn’t care what her family and culture said about dating a Western man. Likewise, Dudley thought he could move beyond his own initial dating prejudices.
He shared his changing feelings with a friend, who Dudley says told him, “ ‘You’ve finally grown up. You’ve finally moved beyond your classist, stuck-up upbringing.’ ” “After I did that, we were finally able to just be who we were with each other.”
He headed back to England for his brother’s wedding; by the time he returned in October, Dudley felt sure he wanted to be with Puri. Less than two months later, as they gathered with friends for another Thanksgiving dinner, he told them all that he was thankful to have Puri in his life and that he’d “like to have her in it forever.” The following March, at a rescue squad company meeting, he proposed before a crowd of their colleagues.
Puri’s parents reacted more positively than the pair had expected and were supportive of the union, especially when the couple agreed to travel to Nepal for a series of traditional wedding rituals and celebrations in January. And on Feb. 26, the couple arrived via ambulance to exchange vows in a formal ceremony at Washington National Cathedral. 

OnLove: Wedding of Crystal Gould and Eric Perrott

Gould had been dating a friend of Perrott’s when she wound up standing next to Perrott at a concert. “We had this moment where we got to get to know each other,” she recalls. And as her affections shifted, she made the calculations of a high school girl, figuring, “I’ll just drop this one and see how it works out with Eric.”
For the next two years they dated steadily, going to concerts and parties with friends. Their parents saw it as puppy love, and Gould says, “For our first couple years together, that was the case.”
But as they prepared to leave for different colleges — she was headed to Florida State University, he was enrolling at the rival University of Florida — they decided to stay together.
Each became involved in campus life, but three weekends a month they’d take turns making the two-hour drive to spend time together.
There was no talk of future plans or permanent commitments — they were, Gould says, “just going with the flow.” But during a visit their sophomore year, she spent an hour organizing music equipment that
seemed to be overtaking Perrott’s room.

“I don’t want to clean up after you for the rest of my life,” she remembers telling him. “Then I was, like, Oooh, I’m using this ‘rest of my life’ language that was not intended. That was the point where I was, like, Wow. This is a big deal.”


They seemed to grow together, both becoming politically active NPR junkies who shared musical tastes and surrounded themselves with artists. Before they could legally drink, the two set up a joint bank account so their entertainment costs could be split equitably.
When Perrott graduated from college a year early in 2008, he moved in with Gould and worked for the Obama campaign in Tallahassee. That fall, she applied for Teach for America while he sent off applications to law schools; they coordinated their efforts so they’d end up in the same city. Soon, Gould found out she’d been picked to come to Washington and Perrott got an acceptance letter from American University.

A case for love

Forrest Deegan and Ryan Richardson met as co-workers at an international law firm. After Deegan made the first move, neither of them could argue against the power of their feelings.

Both associates in the litigation group at Arnold & Porter, Forrest Deegan and Ryan Richardson's relationship started off as "business casual." But thanks to a few romantic gestures -- and some good timing -- on Deegan's part, Richardson realized he was the man she'd been waiting for all along. The couple was married at a ceremony on Dec. 11 at St. Matthew's Cathedral in Dupont Circle.

Ryan Richardson is the type to agonize over a decision between two dresses. When one is finally chosen, she'll bring it home and start to wonder if she should've picked the other.Deciding whom to marry, she knew, would be a tortured process. Again and again she'd asked her long-wed parents how they determined they'd found their mate, only to receive the same unsatisfactory answer: "You will just know when it's right."

"I was not a big believer in that," says Richardson, whose methodical thinking has served her well as an associate in the litigation group at Arnold & Porter.
In the fall of 2007, she was healing after the end of a long-term relationship and started to think about dating again. Besides the younger sister with whom she lived, the core of Richardson's social circle was made up of other young lawyers she'd met during her two years at the firm. On the outer ring of that circle was Forrest Deegan, a fellow associate who was always quick with a joke or friendly smile.
Though Richardson didn't know it, Deegan, 33, had been harboring a crush on her for some time. Even after her relationship ended, however, he was hesitant to make a move. "I frankly thought I never had a chance," he says. "So I didn't want to get my hopes up."
But surrounded by friends at a happy hour before Thanksgiving, Deegan suddenly felt as though he and Richardson were "on an island by ourselves." For the first time, he wondered if the affection was mutual. "It was like, Okay, I am not making this up,' " he says.

On a dark night after the holidays he saw her waiting for a ride as a cold rain pounded the streets outside their office building. Deegan stopped to chat on his way out the door and noticed she didn't have an umbrella. He nonchalantly slipped her his own.

 "He manages to pass off the umbrella and is down the street before I can even say anything. So he walks off and gets soaking wet," she recalls. "Of course I yelled at him, 'Forrest!' But he just waves and smiles."
That night Richardson called her father at home in Cincinnati to tell him chivalry was not dead.
Several weeks passed and both left town - he on a ski vacation, she to Puerto Rico. On the night Deegan was supposed to return to Washington, a storm canceled his flight out of Wyoming. He slept on a friend's couch and woke up feeling compelled to talk to Richardson.
"I don't remember the details of the dream," he says. "I just remember understanding I had to ask out Ryan Richardson immediately, if not sooner."

Back in Washington, Deegan stopped by Richardson's office, something he'd never done before. He told her how much fun he'd had at a recent birthday party thrown in her honor and asked if she was "interested in taking our dress code up a notch." 

The wedding of Erin Surette and Jason Dembeck

Even after dozens of hours in his presence, there was only so much Erin Surette knew about Jason Dembeck: He had a gentle manner, musical tastes that matched her own and no apparent need for idle chatter.

And she knew that she felt something for Dembeck, the Baltimore yoga instructor whose classes she faithfully attended throughout 2008.
“I felt like we would have a lot in common,” says Surette, a competitive runner who took up yoga after being sidelined with an injury.
Her interest grew profound, but Surette, a pathologist’s assistant who is intensely shy, felt hamstrung. He could have a girlfriend, she reasoned, and maybe all his female students had similar crushes.
“I didn’t really know how to approach it,” she says.
Eventually Surette worked up the nerve to ask Dembeck for help with a pose after class, but that was the extent of their personal interactions.

Still, it was a bigger move than he’d been able to muster. Dembeck, who also works as an accountant, was struck by the grace of Surette’s practice. He was attracted to the lithe brunette, but knew even less of her than she did of him.
Nervous butterflies struck whenever he saw her; on one occasion, he decided to talk to her after class, but then “I chickened out and didn’t say anything,” he recalls.
In January 2009, Dembeck opened a new branch of Lifeline Power Yoga, the studio where he taught in Baltimore’s Fells Point. The first time Surette went to a class there on her own, she was the only student to show up.
Equal parts ecstatic and unnerved, she wondered, How am I not going to act totally awkward? They went ahead with class and afterward she complimented his playlist, which featured some of her favorite indie bands. They chatted about yoga and running, and Surette promised to follow up with information about an upcoming race.
They traded e-mails in the weeks that followed, with Dembeck always including questions to keep the dialogue going.
He was increasingly convinced that they had a connection and felt deflated whenever he saw that she’d attended another teacher’s class. Heeding the advice of his friends, Dembeck, now 31, resolved to ask her out.
“The general consensus was, ‘She likes you and if you don’t do anything, she’s gonna take that as a hint,’ ” he says.
After class in February, Surette, 29, changed clothes to go to a pub trivia event. When Dembeck asked if she was going out, Surette took a deep breath, said yes and that he should come along.
“That was probably the most I’d ever put myself out there,” she says.
He had another class to teach that night, but told her he’d been meaning to ask if she wanted to do something over the weekend.
On a Friday night, they went to dinner and the symphony. Before the evening ended, he asked if she’d like to go to the roller derby the next day. Soon they were spending every weekend together and meeting up for class during the week.
“I was just amazed at how compatible we were and how similar we were,” he says. Dembeck, who can be a solitary person, especially on tough days, was even more amazed to find that, during a particularly difficult week, he wanted to be with her more than he wanted to be alone. “That’s when I thinking, ‘Erin’s the person.’ ”
They moved in together that October, constructing a life of long runs, early bedtimes and regular yoga sessions in an extra bedroom they’d converted into a small studio. The following July, he laid rose petals along her yoga mat and proposed as she unrolled it.
The two began planning a big wedding but were turned off by the commercialism and the thought of being the center of such attention for a full weekend. Just after Christmas they decided to elope, but, heeding protests from their parents, amended their plans to include immediate family.
So on Feb. 20, exactly two years after their first date, Surette and Dembeck exchanged vows in a small room at Chase Court in Baltimore. There were surrounded by arched windows and applauded by eight guests.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt more comfortable with anyone,” Surette said the week before the ceremony. “It’s just so easy.”
Dembeck concurred. The initial overtures were tricky, he says, “but once we finally crossed that, it was so easy just to talk.”

Hollywood Wedded to The Formula

Those who will nod along with Candice Bergen, as wedding planner Marion St. Claire, when she tells the newly engaged Emma during their first planning session, "You have been dead until now."

 Emma whispers in reply, "I understand."
So much freesia, so much Vera, and in between that, things happen that you would expect would happen. (In a movie, at least -- if they happened in real life, it would be either your wildest dream or worst nightmare.) Consider the following to be spoilers only if you have never seen a film in which two people say "I do":
It's sort of like "27 Dresses" (released last January), in which a meek woman has been planning her nuptials since embryo, or like "Made of Honor" (May) in which an engagement prompts old friends to reconsider their platonic relationship, or like "Sex and the City: The Movie" (also May) in which wedding planning causes psychosis.
 Oh, but you know what else it's like? "The Philadelphia Story" (1940), in which a drunken escapade liberates an otherwise prim character shortly before the big day.
In fact, just about any movie with organza in the production budget ends up looking something like this:
Girl, having already met Boy, begins a zany trip down the aisle, and often ends up at the front of the church with a different groom than she started out with.
(This last bit makes wedding movies the ultimate romantic comedies: The audience gets to see both flirtation and gown montages. Because as anyone knows, most romcoms end with a first kiss, not a wedding, and two people planning a stressful wedding together rarely ever flirt.)
The stories are the same, and the weddings in them are all the same, too: White ball gowns, blue garters, drunken uncles, teary moms, a getaway Rolls trailed by shoes and tin cans. 

The To-Do Before the 'I Do'

Amy Guthridge, Laura Weatherly and Sara Muchnick examine
the dresses at Hitched in Georgetown. (Susan Biddle/For The Post)

Something old, something new, something borrowed ... ah, the good old days, when a bride's necessities could be boiled down to a cheerful rhyme. Welcome to 2009, when that cutesy couplet has grown to epic proportions: something eco-friendly, something personalized, something exotic, something unexpected. It's enough to turn even the most calm and collected bride into someone deserving of a cameo on "Bridezillas."
Laura Weatherly, founder of D.C.-based wedding planning company Engaging Affairs, encourages clients to think outside the bridal box when making a to-do list for the big day. She and her two full-time consultants, Sara Muchnick and Amy Guthridge, say decidedly nontraditional touches are their calling cards: Think checkered cabs as getaway cars, receptions with doughnut carts and kitschy photo booths, plus a focus on locally sourced foods and "green" stationery.

(Thread Design)

On a recent afternoon amid the frothy, flouncy confections at Georgetown bridal salon Hitched, the three sat down to discuss their techniques and talk about this year's trends:
-- Holly E. Thomas

Wedding Wear

"After so many years of dresses being so plain and simple, I'm really excited about embellishments coming back," Weatherly, center, says as she discusses bridal trends with Guthridge and Muchnick at Hitched. "The look is more architectural," she explains, pointing out gowns with pleating, sculptural necklines and oversize, abstract rosettes and feathers. "I call it the Carrie Bradshaw Effect."

Fancy Frocks

The days of cringe-worthy bridal party frocks are over as more designers turn out options worthy of donning post-wedding. Weatherly likes Thread's bridesmaid dresses for their "cute and contemporary" feel. The collection offers a distinctly modern aesthetic: Look for mini- and maxi-length dresses, one-shoulder styles and Grecian draping.
Madison mini-dress, $290 at bridal.threaddesign.com; available for order at Hitched (1523 Wisconsin Ave. NW; 202-333-6162).

(Szwarc Photography)

Bold Bouquets

"Brides are getting away from just roses," Guthridge says, "and going for more unexpected flowers, like peonies." Boutique floral design studio Heavenly Hydrangeas (703-534-1308, www.heavenlyhydrangeas.com) creates unusual bouquets studded with fruits, feathers and blooms from owner Susan Poneman's garden, as well as versatile centerpieces that work just as well for a casual dinner party.

(Smock Paper)

Save the Date (and the Planet)

Weatherly has seen a surge in the use of recycled-paper invites, and Smock's offerings (www.smockpaper.com) are among her favorites. The company encloses its sustainably printed bamboo products in biodegradable packaging and donates 1 percent of sales to environmental causes. For those not planning their big day, the company offers a chic selection of stationery, party invitations and greeting cards.

(www.endless.com)

The Perfect Pair

Muchnick and Guthridge are drawn to elegant gowns worn with pumps in a bright, eye-popping color. The dainty ankle strap and ultra-feminine ruffles balance the vibrant pink satin on Poetic Licence's Body Talk pump ($149.95 at Nordstrom stores and www.endless.com). The best part? These go from bridal party to cocktail party without missing a step.

Wedding Week: Bridal Bargains

 Planning a wedding and hoping not to go broke in the process? Denise and Alan Fields are here to help! The authors of the best-selling book Bridal Bargains, now in its 9th edition, were online Wednesday, September 10 to offer advice on how to save money on invitations, gowns, catering, flowers, honeymoons... and still have a beautiful celebration.

A transcript follows.
____________________
Alan Fields: Hi everyone! Denise and Alan Fields here, live from Boulder, Colo.
We are the authors of "Bridal Bargains: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget." As consumer advocates, we've been featured on Oprah, NBC's Today Show and (most recently) on the Montel Williams show.
"Bridal Bargains" first came out way back in 1990 -- yes, we have been researching and writing about how to save on weddings for 18 years! Our book is now in its ninth edition with 700,000 copies in print.
Along the way, we have interviewed thousands of couples about how they tied the knot without going bankrupt. Many of our tips and advice are from "real weddings" -- and from wedding vendors who spill the beans about how to really save and avoid scams.
We look forward to your questions!
_______________________
Washington: Any tips for saving money on engagement and wedding rings? Do you know the average costs for rings these days? Thanks!
Alan Fields: Platinum wedding rings are extremely popular -- but very expensive! To save, we suggest palladium -- a similar look but much less expensive (it is part of the platinum family).
As for discounters, we like the WeddingRingHotline.com -- good deals and savings about 30 percent off retail prices.
_______________________
Chesapeake, Va.: I love your book. It has helped me so very much. My biggest question: Since I'm new to my area, is it a better idea for me to invest in a wedding planner, or try to go it myself, using a lot of the internet for my resources? I know that I can find some great things online, but I don't know if I can find better off-line. Is it worth the money to find out?
Alan Fields: Thanks! We appreciate the kind words!
Good question. We would suggest a wedding planner if you are planning a large wedding in a town you are unfamiliar with. The key issue is the number of guests ... and whether you have the time to plan the event!
Yes, it takes about 100 hours to plan a wedding. So if time is tight, a professional wedding planner may be worth the expense (most charge 10% to 15% of the wedding budget). 

Royal Mint issues wedding coin

Britain's Royal Mint is trying again -- but early reactions to its coin to mark the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton aren't overwhelmingly positive.

If this sounds familiar, that's because it is: The mint announced a coin in December to mark the couple's engagement. The mint has marked royal milestones since 1935 -- past coins include one to commemorate the 1981 wedding of William's parents, Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer -- but this was announced as its first official engagement coin.
The images of the couple, however, were panned. The prince's likeness featured a prominent Adam's apple, and some questioned the accuracy of the depiction of his fiancee. (The Post's Reliable Source weighed in, asking readers to suggest who might have been the models.)

The forthcoming 5-pound coin, designed by Mark Richards, a fellow at the Royal Society of British Sculptors, is to commemorate the couple's wedding next month. The likenesses, as with the earlier coin, were reportedly approved by William and Queen Elizabeth II. (The mint's Web site notes that the government has approved these images as well.) The prince and his fiancee are shown looking at one another. A Daily Mail article on the coin's release sniffed that the bride-to-be "looks somewhat toothy, while her 28-year-old fiance has more hair on his head than has been suggested by recent photographs."

Sarah Burton to design royal wedding dress?

The latest buzz on who's designing Kate Middleton's wedding dress focuses on Sarah Burton, the creative director of the British fashion house Alexander McQueen. Burton, 36, took over after McQueen committed suicide last year. Britain's Sunday Times reported that the chief executive of the label, Jonathan Akeroyd, reportedly said it had won the commission; an Associated Press follow-up noted that both Burton and Akeroyd were denying that they had the assignment.
The Telegraph is lauding the choice, if true, as "a coup for British fashion." The Guardian report noted that palace officials refuse to comment on who is designing the dress.
The look of the royal wedding dress is a closely guarded secret -- and designers eager to stay popular with the royal family tend not to talk about their commissions. The Times article is behind a pay-wall; a Daily Mail article speculating on whether Burton has the high-profile assignment noted that "It is said that Miss Middleton, 29, has been consulting the fashion editor wife of Prince William's stepbrother Tom Parker Bowles.
"Sara Buys, who writes for Harpers Bazaar, wore McQueen for her own wedding in 2005, and 'would have given her a good knowledge of the best designers', according to the [Times]."
Meanwhile, the Daily Mail has tracked down the Italian designer of the bright red suit Kate wore when she and Prince William visited the University of St. Andrews recently. The royal bride-to-be won high marks for pairing the traditional-look suit -- which played on the university's colors -- with tall black boots (Aquatalia by Marvin K.), black gloves (with red trim) and a black belt. But the only comment journalists could initially unearth about the outfit was that it came from Kate's closet. The Mail reports that "Kate's stylish outfit was created by Luisa Spagnoli, the Italian ready-to-wear label beloved of screen sirens Gina Lollobrigida and Sophia Loren. Kate purchased the striking £160 skirt and £335 'sushi' jacket from Hollie de Keyser in Knightsbridge, Central London. In doing so, she was retracing the fashion footsteps of Princess Diana - de Keyser's premises were frequented by William's late mother when the boutique was known as Emma Somerset. Luisa Spagnoli, who founded the label in Perugia in 1928, was famous for introducing angora fibre - derived from Angora rabbits - into knitwear."